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SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

topic posted Mon, November 13, 2006 - 9:47 PM by  Rachel
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SantaCon 2006!!

HO!!

Gather your Elves.
Feed your Reindeer.
Santa is on the move!

We’re posting this early so that Santas can make it to more than one Santarchy and the weather has a better chance of not being an ASS like it was last year. This is the firm date and will not change, rain or shine.

WHEN:
December 9th

WHAT TO BRING:
*An unmarked drinking vessel (paper bag/camelbak) to supplement bar drinks
*CASH for drinks and tips
* TIP YOUR BARTENDERS! Santa tips well.
*$5.50 for ferry (if coming from Oakland)
*$1.50 for MUNI (in quarters!!) (MUNI has NO CHANGE MACHINES!)
*A Santa suit held together with zip ties and/or covered in last year's beverages and bodily fluids.
*Santafication tools (to make others into Santas).
*A ball or two or three…
* Bring toys/gifts (Naughty AND Nice!)
*Mistletoe
*Beer money
*Lube and condoms (elf size, you know, if you’re into that sort of thing)
*Bribes
*Comfortable shoes - because Rudolph got drunk again and can't cart your sorry ass around
*Warm Clothes - Santa goes all night long!

WHERE AND WHEN:

Oakland
------------------
* 8:30-9am - East Bay Gathering
Heinhold's First and Last Chance Saloon 56 Jack London Square, Oakland
* 10:00am- Ferry Trip!
Oakland to SF Pier 41
Don't be late or you'll be waiting for about 2 hours for the next ferry.
Purchase tickets onboard the ferry - $5.50 One Way
www.eastbayferry.com/when/printable.html


SF
------------------
* 10:30am - San Francisco Gathering
at Carousel @ Pier 39
Santas get on for ½ price!!: $1.50
* 11:30am - Santarchy!

TIP YOUR BARTENDERS!

THE FOUR FUCKS:
Don't fuck with KIDS!
Don't fuck with THE LAW!
Don't fuck with SECURITY!
DON'T FUCK WITH SANTA!!
posted by:
Rachel
offline Rachel
Kentucky
137 friends
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  • Richard
    Richard
    offline 35

    Re: SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

    Mon, November 20, 2006 - 8:53 PM
    Ahh Man...I specifically threw our party early (the 9th) so we wouldn't miss any festivities, including Santa Con!!!
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    • Abby
      Abby
      offline 394

      Re: SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

      Mon, November 20, 2006 - 11:59 PM
      Hey, Hos!
      Just wanted to let you all know that Santa has been scouting for cool sexcessories and there are some really cute ones at, uh, the Ace Hardware Five & Dime at Laurel Village. Aprons, oven mits and velcro chef hats for Hot in the Kitchen Santas...jingly necklaces for girlie Santas...ridiculous pet accoutrements that would make hilarious HUMAN accoutrements...all KINDS of battery powered lights and blinkies to make sure Santa doesn't get hit by a car...or is easily spotted by other similarly leaning Santas. Whatevah! Santa is SOOO excited! There's also lotsa bags of cheap snow n shit. I'm sure there's the same sorta crap at all the other drug stores and stuff.....Wheeeee!
      I mean HO HO HO!
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  • Re: SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

    Tue, November 21, 2006 - 12:31 AM
    hey Rachel, can you ping this Santa off line and suggest a location or even a hotel so Santa does not have to drive the sleigh home....

    hugs
    Sunburn Santa
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    • Spar...
      Sparkle Bottom
      offline 76

      Re: SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

      Wed, November 22, 2006 - 9:38 PM
      17 DAYS! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Santa's spankin' is eminent! Santa's been sooooooo BAD!

      Hey, so that this isn't a totally obvious bump... any one know what the turnaround time is on those internet suits? Or seen any cheap suits out there (in the physical world) recently for sale? I've got mine lined up (Thanks, Princess!) but my friends are looking about...
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      • Spar...
        Sparkle Bottom
        offline 76

        Re: SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

        Wed, November 22, 2006 - 9:43 PM
        Oh boy! Just saw a thread that reported a $13 suit at Walgreens! Guess that makes this and my last post TOTALLY SHAMELESS BUMPS for the SF SantaCon!

        Santa has NO SHAME. Seems only right.
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  • alexa
    alexa
    offline 15

    Re: SF SantaCon Inf-HO-mation!

    Wed, November 22, 2006 - 9:56 PM
    oh- i'm so excited!
    kelley, me bestest friend ever is booking her ticket now, she's coming up from san diego cuz this sounds so fun!

    i'm very much looking forward to our "christmystical mass"!

    santarchy for everyone !!!!!!!!!!!
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  • Tues night prep for Santa Rampage at Cafe du Nord , 10th anniversary party

    Mon, December 4, 2006 - 4:08 AM


    I'm flying up to Portland for the rampage this year this weekend with at least one of other old timer. So I will miss out on SF this year.

    So hopefully I'll see you peeps Tues night to watch Scotts film that he made about the 3rd rampage in Portland ( the 1st and 2nd were in SF)

    Tuesday, December 19th

    Cafe du Nord
    2170 Market Street
    San Francisco

    doors: 8pm
    video starts: 9pm


    Santa Squid & Santa Melmoth of Laughing Squid present a very special
    10th anniversary party and screening of Scott Beale’s documentary on
    the infamous 1996 Portland Santacon:

    "You’d Better Watch Out: Portland SantaCon ‘96"
    santarchy.com/youd-better...santacon-96/



    santarchy.com/1996-portla...rsary-party/

    Santa Open Mike and general merriment after screening til closing.

    Free admission. Santa attire encouraged.

    The event will also serve as a post-Santacon 2006 event for Bay Area
    Santas and we would especially like the 1996 Portland alumni to join
    us and tell war stories and show off their scars.

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    • Re: Tues night prep for Santa Rampage at Cafe du Nord , 10th anniversary party

      Tue, December 5, 2006 - 2:07 AM
      Weather update: Looks like the worst of it will be on Friday night.

      wwwa.accuweather.com/forecast2.asp
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      • Andie
        Andie
        offline 337

        Re: Tues night prep for Santa Rampage at Cafe du Nord , 10th anniversary party

        Tue, December 5, 2006 - 4:43 PM
        Resolution, Santa: in the event of inclinement weather, Santa will NOT WHINE ABOUT THE FUCKING RAIN.

        Santa has a goddamned good time no matter what the skies are doing. Dig?
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        • Rachel
          Rachel
          offline 137

          Re: Tues night prep for Santa Rampage at Cafe du Nord , 10th anniversary party

          Wed, December 6, 2006 - 8:31 AM
          I found this on the NYC page and I think it's great... and bears "repeating" to our SF Santas:

          SANTA'S RULES:

          * Santa looks like Santa. Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Get creative: be a Secret Santa, a Santasaurus, Candy-cane, a Reindeer, a Chanukah Chicken, a goddamn latke. Just don't wear your fucking jeans.
          * Santa acts like Santa. Be jolly. Belly-laugh. Let people sit on your lap. Give out gifts.
          * Santa doesn't talk to the press. "Ho-ho-ho" is good. "Publicity ho" is lame.
          * Santa doesn't get arrested. Please remember the FOUR FUCKS:
          1. Don't fuck with kids.
          2. Don't fuck with cops.
          3. Don't fuck with security.
          4. Don't fuck with Santa. (yeah, it's okay to fuck Santa)

          SANTA'S GUIDELINES:
          It's a long day, so be prepared. Here's some tips to keep your sleigh running all day.

          * Dress warm. It's the northeast (insert: SF). It's winter. Wear layers so you'll be comfortable anywhere from the North Pole to the strippers' pole.
          * Stay with the group. We're experimenting with a text message chain this year, but technology fucks up. Go with friends and call one of them if you drunkenly wander off. Try not to drunkenly wander off, though. How hard is it to lose 500 Santas?
          * Stay hydrated.
          * If you can't stay hydrated, stay liquored up. There will be bar stops, but they can be short and crowded. You are responsible for your own inebriation. Santa is not advocating breaking open container laws! Santa's just sayin'...
          * Don't be "that" Santa. Your friends want to have fun, not scrape the puke outta your beard or prevent your wasted ass from wandering into traffic.
          * Pay your own damn bar tab. Tip bartenders well for putting up with us.
          * Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or otherwise deserve it). Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on the parents. Tourists fall somewhere in between the two -- adjust depending on their attitude.

          HO!
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