Santa Con's topics - tribe.net

Santa in July

urbanblitz — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 18:29:05 GMT

A friend of my from London sent me something from the UK Santacon list.

Santa event planned in July in New York called "Santa in July"

Does anyone know anything about this?

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

santa's been bad for REAL

robyn 666 — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:37:21 GMT

best santa ever? naughtiest, perhaps:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/05/09/national/a020700D72.DTL&feed=rss.news

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Santa visit to Heinold's for their anniversary?

alih — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:28:50 GMT

Sunday June 1st, Heinold's is supposedly celebrating their 125th anniversary
http://eastbaybarsandpubs.tribe.net/thread/c79cbd43-aff1-486c-8522-072ccfab254d?newpostingid=c8ce4a2c-0518-427d-8b39-3b462231f9f4#c8ce4a2c-0518-427d-8b39-3b462231f9f4

Buy a glass for $5 and fill it with beer for $0.05! Live band on the patio.

If I'm not out of town for whatever reason, I'll head over.
As Santa? Mebbe.

Anyone else potentially interested?
Anyone else have more details?

posted in Santa Con - 5 replies

Fuck You Peter Shipley

TheMuse — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 06:22:43 GMT

I want everyone to know that this person is a crazy, dangerous asshole: people.tribe.net/peter_shipley

This man assaulted Davor with pepperspray (or mace, still not sure) today at santacon. My eyes still sting from the residue I got on my hands when I wiped away the painful tears of my sweetheart and I in turn later accidentally touched near my own eyes. This jackass of a human also inadvertently sprayed other nearby patrons (santas) of the restaurant. Fuck You Asshole. You are not welcome near me nor my community - you are a cowardly asshole and I hope to never, EVER see your face in my presence again.

Never having asked such a thing before, and coming from a place of the most true and bitter sincerity, I implore each of you in this community to blackball this jerk in all ways, shapes and forms.

posted in Santa Con - 131 replies

Santa with gun

johay — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:35:02 GMT

I'm going to take Ms. Claws to the gun range tomorrow. Called ahead to make sure costume shooting is kosher. They sayed yays. HO!

Santa Shotslinger

posted in Santa Con - 7 replies

Santa's a Bitch!

Jelly — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 05:22:23 GMT

Right HanaKLAUS?

posted in Santa Con - 11 replies

Anyone know anything about LepreCon in NY this year?

RudyTootToot — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 00:02:57 GMT

looks like that tribe over there hasn't had a post in a looong time.

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

Santa vs. The Grinch

thestylist78 — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 02:45:43 GMT

I just found this wonderful game on Facebook.com. I need a Santa Army, so I can kick The Grinch's ass. Here's the site if you want to check it out for your self.

http://apps.facebook.com/santagrinch/?i=1121643760

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

Santa who's your pal?

johay — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:51:06 GMT

Bunnies?
Robots?
Monkeys?

Has anyone in here ever done a Leprecon? Please note the distinction between LepREcon and Lepercon (ew).

Superheroes?

posted in Santa Con - 29 replies

Need advice on organizing a pub crawl in SF

Jade-Anomaly — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:05:20 GMT

I'm planning a pub crawl in SF next month and I've never done this before so I'm looking for some advice from folks who have. I need help trying to figure out a route. Also, do you make arrangements with the places you plan to stop or just show up? Etc, Etc. I'm hoping the SF SantaCon organizers will chime in here since they seem to be experienced and successful at this.

posted in Santa Con - 7 replies

After Santa...

Mark — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:50:20 GMT

...is the time of the rabbit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPJLEIHUhbY

Don't miss out!

Hop hop hop!

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Santa: a democracy?

johay — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 03:31:42 GMT

Vote on your favorite pic in here. Or post that and vote for it. It's easy for me to post up what I like, lets see what Santa likes.

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

What a bunch of entitled fucks you complainers are.

suziO — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 02:01:24 GMT

What's the problem with SF Santacon? Too many people, that's what!

"The ferry didn't hold all the Santas"
"I got seperated from my 100 friends"
"OAK is the GHETTO. I don't feel safe in my slutty Santa outfit"

Do you have any idea what the organizers do for you?They start planning this thing months in advance discussing routes that might make sense, phone bars and beg tenders to hire extra staff for the day, occasionally notify and escort police, creating songbooks, posting info and then the day of, herding cats. They don't get to drink. They barely get to talk to anyone. It's the most thankless job ever and it's all because they love Santa and don't want to see it fall into the hands of people who think it's easy and it just happens.

They went to OAK because there's just too many goddamn people going to Santa and we need a place to stretch out....and also to shake things up. Most freaks live there, after all.

I don't organize or herd people anymore because I hate it. I say we start charging money and renting buses...make it all structured and shit. Think I'm crazy? YOU try herding 700 people and partying at the same time.

posted in Santa Con - 76 replies

World of WarSANTA

TheMuse — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 09:29:55 GMT

Davor and I took Santa Con to the virtual world tonight and rampaged in the city of Orgrimmar in World of Warcraft! Weeeeeeeeee.

No pepper spray to be found but plenty of axes, crossbows and elite dragons of doom!

posted in Santa Con - 6 replies

Santa hats ridiculously cheap now.

alih — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:09:36 GMT

Long's, Walgreen's, etc. have them on something like 75% discount.
Shop now for next year!

posted in Santa Con - 5 replies

Santacon in june

Phyllis — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:40:02 GMT

wouldn't it be great to do a santacon in the middle of summer?

posted in Santa Con - 10 replies

Riske' Santa

Giggles — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 22:07:06 GMT

http://ericnuzum.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/dlh_08_tile.jpg

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

Kiwi santas are so NAUGHTY!!!

saakimba — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 01:17:06 GMT

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/12/23/drunk.santas.ap/index.html

posted in Santa Con - 5 replies

We need Santas for San Jose Santa Con this Saturday, December 22nd!!

JJ — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 18:56:31 GMT

Hello Fellow Santas, Mrs Clauses, Reindeer, elves and Easter Bunnies! We're hosting the third Annual Santa Con in San Jose and we could really use a few more Santas to overtake Downtown San Jose!
Our first stop is the 49'ers Inn, where we're getting liquored up, then traipsing across the street to San Jose's very own totally NUDE strip club, The Pink Poodle...from there, we're crawling our way downtown...so far, we're a small and hardy crowd, but it would be great to have a few more Santas in our mix!! If you can make it, let us know...and we'll post the main itinerary Friday night, so check back in...HO!!

posted in Santa Con - 18 replies

Denver Santas Rock!

Synapse_Village — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 00:57:56 GMT

Nice job, folks!
Post some pix!
Smooches!
Nani's boobies!

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

The Traveling Burners!

DVDBurner — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:02:29 GMT

For Burners all over the world that travel the world meet up with other Burners. A resource for Burners to meet/greet/hang and plan or just shoot the shit getting ideas of where next to go spreading the word.

http://tribes.tribe.net/theburningtravelers

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

TONITE Thu 12/20 - Revenge of the Oaktown Santas

alih — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:06:41 GMT

OK, so this Santa apparently cannot get enough of Oakland. So this is what we're doing tonight. Join us!

7:00 - CAFE VAN KLEEF
1621 Telegraph (16-17th St)...steps fm the 19th St Oakland BART

8:15/8:30ish – RADIO BAR
435 13th St (Bway/Franklin)

9ish – RUBY ROOM
132 14th St (Madison/Lakeside)

10ish – OASIS
135 12th St (Madison/Oak)...couple of blocks fm Lake Merritt BART

This is an approximate schedule...I'll see what we can do about keeping to it.
Warning: If we're having WAY too much fun at one place, we may stay longer, etc, so if you're serious about coming, it may be best if you PM me with your cell # and I'll see about getting in touch if we wander wildly off-schedule.

posted in Santa Con - 6 replies

SF santacon complaint thread

toomanyTomcats — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:46:22 GMT

git on with it. ..
what's your favorite thing to fuss over?

I mean it- no snark here- what didn;t you like about santacon this year?

posted in Santa Con - 12 replies

Santa Con Barbara 2007

tejawe — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:34:17 GMT

santa sent me a message the other day by carrier elf. it said:

santa barbara, ca
friday, dec. 21st
8pm
starting in "the funk zone"
exact location tba

ho!

posted in Santa Con - 5 replies

SFpix

robyn 666 — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 18:07:44 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/63714288@N00/sets/72157603506489493/

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

Santa was groped?

santaliscious — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:33:28 GMT

Woman accused of groping a mall Santa. Don't know what his problem was; This Santa likes being groped...

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/12/18/national/a085247S28.DTL&tsp=1

posted in Santa Con - 19 replies

What did Santa Give out this year?

Glen — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:25:05 GMT

So I was giving Candy Canes to the kids... and Condoms with bows to their parents.

I was given Porn DVDs, Porn VHS, Neked Pictures, Rap Singers Basemall cards, and a bell that wouldn't ring.

What did you give out? Just curious as to the creativity.

posted in Santa Con - 30 replies

Searching for Santa

k8 — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 22:30:20 GMT

Santa said santa would find ya' on Tribe.

Santa was at Vancity Santa....and you, Santa, were from either PDX or LA.

Anyways...Santa was also a bad Santa and Santa left the Odyssey (nearly unconscious) and promised to find ya.

If this rings a bell email Santa.

HO!

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

San Francisco Santa Stumble Saturday the 22nd?

Abby — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:11:42 GMT

I won't be one of the whiners but I WILL say that last week's SantaCon did not completely sate my desire to parade around in red and white. Is anyone else up for a semi-impromptu Santa Stumble this Saturday? Something easy and not so huge? If you are, email me! I'll compile a list of interested Santas and send out a message late Friday or early Saturday about where to meet. This will be an intimate gathering, NOT the usual 500 to 1000 Santas. Gettin' back to basics, yo.
xoxo
SantAbby
editrixabby@gmail.com

posted in Santa Con - 11 replies

Santarchy DC 2007 Video

thibeaux — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:17:16 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LruDdnISbCE

3 minutes

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

Santa's Little Secret Service-photos

Sir E. D. W. — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 04:39:56 GMT

It was a pleasure to serve Santa this year in San Francisco and the East Bay. Our mission is Jolliness Assurance, Lap Protection, and Sleigh Escort and we serve Santa (aka THE PRESENT), Mrs Claus (aka THE BOW), Frosty (aka POPSICLE), and all other North Pole High Value Persons.

The Service is assembling photos of agents on assignment:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/slss/pool/

If you have any photos of us, please add them to the pool. We promise not to come to your house.

Agent Partridge in a Pear Tree
Detail Commander, Santa's Little Secret Service

"You better watch out. You better not cry."

posted in Santa Con - 6 replies

Brazil and Spokane needs backup.

johay — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 00:24:19 GMT

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071219/ap_on_fe_st/odd_brazil_santa_attacked

HO crap!

Spokane - What the?
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8TKLC3G1&show_article=1

posted in Santa Con - 3 replies

THE STORY OF STUFF

UncleFishbits — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:43:25 GMT

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

this is the most concise, complete, and incredible explanation of our mindless consumption, our massive consumerism, and out sad brainmushed ambling towards a lifestyle that is all about shopping and trying to feel better and complete with material items. And this panic towards therapy shopping is what is destroying EVERYTHING.

Incredible... and it is peaceful, pleasant, and a nice lady uses some mellow cartoons to let you know. Great production value.

posted in Santa Con - 3 replies

Thanks Santa Kingpin

santaliscious — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 20:04:16 GMT

For changing the title of the tribe to what it sadly has become.

And as a former 'Con planner in Portland, to the other planner/herders around the world, you have my love and empathy.

posted in Santa Con - 7 replies

thanks

UncleFishbits — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 19:09:01 GMT

everyone everwhere.

just thought I would drop some love, because some Santa is some grumpy bitches.

Anyhoo... if you have seen this

http://www.santasm.com

then watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZaCj6j5TCZE
Santa is an asshole

http://spc.fotologs.net/photo/28/28/47/zibbo/1135818614_f.jpg

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

to all my whiny bitch SF santas

jovino — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:46:53 GMT

Every fucking year, we east bay peeps schlep our asses over to your fog-encrusted "city" and do the same fucking thing every fucking year. Same bars, same tourists, same cops, same Frank Chu. Yawn. No, super fucking yawn.

But this ONE year that we try to do something different, all you can manage to do is whine, piss and moan about how shitty Oakland is or how difficult it is to get over here or how much it sucks. Well, all I have to say to that is:

If you're gonna whine like a little elf,
we're gonna dress you like a little elf.

See you tomorrow, bitches!

posted in Santa Con - 33 replies

NOW I know why there were so few reindeer in SF

Grizzly — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 18:22:50 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6JJPxtfYVg

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

Thanks to the SF group, The band rocked!

Gothalot — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 16:38:01 GMT

Hey a special thanks to the Klesmer band who stayed with the SF Santa Con crew. You guys were awesome! You were the glue that kept us full of cheer completely forgetting the boat was leaving the dock. The two pints at the first bar helped too.

I met some really great Santa's, had much to drink, and laughed my ass off. Mrs Butterfly Claus and I wanted to say thanks! It was a great drama free and FUN FILLED group!

posted in Santa Con - 13 replies

Honorable Mentions?

johay — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 22:56:47 GMT

HOpefully, I'm not the only one who did something stupid.

Sunday, after the Seattle Santarchy a bunch of us brunched together. We had mimosas. I shot myself in the damn eye with a champagne cork. Now I'm all PTSD when I hear the pop. Stupid Santa!

Who wants to go to the firing range with me?

posted in Santa Con - 28 replies

VEGAS schedule for this Friday 12/21!

Cameron — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:56:03 GMT

Merry Christmas to all Santa Revelers the following is the schedule for the Santa Rampage this Friday, Dec 21 at 9PM IN COSTUME ONLY PLEASE.
Santa suggests you park your car at the Fitzgerald's casino. The valet was wide open and as you know only costs a tip. Walk towards Fremont St. we are meeting in front of Fitzgerald's at the huge Christmas tree (fitting eh?). 9pm Sharp!

9:00pm- Santa meets at Christmas tree in front of Fitzgerald's. The party begins with caroling!
10:00pm- Santa departs Christmas tree for King's Bar in the Four Queen's casino to warm up with a cocktail!
10:30pm- Santa departs Four Queen's for Gold Digger's club upstairs in the Golden Nugget(live band, dancing and it also has a patio that overlooks Fremont St.).
11:15pm- Santa departs Gold Digger's club for the Golden Gate casino's famous 99 cent shrimp cocktail and cheap beer!
11:45pm- Santa departs Golden Gate casino for caroling under the Fremont St. canopy.
12:00am- Santa goes into Boomer's nightclub in Binion's Horseshoe for dancing!
12:30am- Santa departs Binion's Horseshoe for Hogs N Heifers, yee-haw get yer bar dance on Santa!
1:30am- Santa departs Hogs N Heifers for Mickey Finnz, for live band.
2:00am- Santa leaves Mickey Finnz for the Beauty Bar, for rock DJ.
2:30am- Santa leaves Beauty Bar for nutritional and healthy breakfast at Fitzgerald's Courtyard Grill or other breakfast location TBD.

PLEASE DRESS UP IN COSTUME!

For those of you from out of town or wishing to stay in the area cheaply, the Fitzgerald's has rooms available at Hotels.com for $47 and I think Binion's is even a little less.

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

VEGAS SANTA RAMPAGE Dec 21

Cameron — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 05:18:39 GMT

CALLING ALL SANTAS!!

The LAS VEGAS SANTA RAMPAGE 2007 IS ON!

Friday, December 21st, 2007 at 9PM sharp, calling all Santa’s, Elves, and Reindeer for another unforgettable blast up the Las Vegas Strip. This will be our fourth winter rampage; we think we’re figuring this stuff out. Or not.

WHAT IS SANTA RAMPAGE? Join Santa and his band of merry freaks as the make their way in and out of casino’s, bars, and other establishments spreading holiday jeer and merriment, singing naughty Christmas Carols, and generally having a blast! NO FORCE ON EARTH CAN STOP A HUNDRED SANTAS.

HERE’S THE RULES SANTA:
1. You MUST BE IN COSTUME to attend! Merely putting on a Santa hat an jeans does NOT cut it. No street clothes are allowed on Santa Rampage! Every time we do this it seems a couple of people show up in street clothes expecting to hang out with Santa, please don’t even bother. Either get/make a real costume (see links below) or stay home. Really, we hope you’ll participate!
2. Don’t f**k with little kids. Nothings says “please kick my ass Dad” like making a little kid cry. Don’t do it. ALWAYS ask permission before approaching kids. And only give them toys with their parent’s permission.
3. Don’t f**k with the cops or security. These casinos don’t give a damn about Santa. Always do what they say, and be respectful. If we are asked to leave, then we leave as a group.
4. Stay together. “No force on earth can top a hundred Santas” is true. But there are a lot of forces that can stop one or two. There is power in numbers, use it.
5. This is an exercise in radical self reliance. YOU and you alone are responsible for your own well being. If you get too drunk or start trouble, then Santa will leave your happy ass to your fate. Santa’s got a schedule to maintain. You should probably eat before hand as well. Be prepared for anything Santa.
6. This is a 21+ event as Santa will be bar hopping. Also, you should bring some spending money even if you don’t drink. Experience has shown this to be true.
7. No one is in charge. When asked the answer to almost every question is “Santa” Here’s a couple of examples: “Who are you guys?” We’re Santa “Why are you doing this?” Because I’m Santa “Who organized this?” Santa “Who’s in charge here?” Santa. See a pattern here?
8. Bring toys or gifts to give out along the way.

That’s about it! Pretty simple huh? We think so.

THE SCHEDULE:
We will be posting the schedule as we get closer to the date. We’re working on some new ideas this time and considering some new places for Santa to get thrown out of, er…. we mean ‘visit’, yes that’s it! As soon as we have the schedule nailed down we will post it to the four winds. All we know now is that we’re meeting at 9PM on Friday December 21 ‘somewhere’ on the Las Vegas strip. So we can’t wait to see all you fabulous festive freaks there, in costume, and ready to have some fun! We will provide the naughty carols, and again, please eat/drink/poop before we start.

LINKS, for those of you unsure what this is all about we assure you it’s the most fun you will ever have with your clothes on, and the Las Vegas strip is the best place anywhere for this sort of mayhem.

http://santarchy.com/ ground zero for Santa related jackassery
http://www.santacon.com/ some great pictures of past rampages
http://santarchy.com/cheap-santa-suits/ links to buy your dream Santa Suit
or just Google “Santarchy” or “Santacon” and poke around in there, you’ll figure it out one way or another, because you’re SANTA DAMNIT!

FRIDAY DECEMBER 21ST, 9PM on the Las Vegas Strip.
See you there Santa! HO HO HO!!!

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

Oakland pics

frankenspock — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:39:16 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/frankenspock/sets/72157603467517208/

Favorite things:

- marching in Santa bootstomping lockstep to greet the SF fokes
- trying to fit 500 Santas into a 20x30 adult video store
- Santa vs. Robots
- not being maced
- wall-to-wall Santaction at the Hotsy Totsy

Good job, organizers! I liked the randomness of it, and my vote goes to keeping it adventurous in the future, no matter where the actual thing is happening.

posted in Santa Con - 12 replies

London Calling......

saakimba — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 01:00:44 GMT

Thank-you awesome Santa Nurse for really, actually fer reals calling Santa Seattle, thereby connecting our con with yours!!! Having the 150 or so (at that time) Seattle Santas yell a hearty HO HO HO to London Santarchy from Murphy's pub in Wallingford warmed the cockles of mine and many Seattle Santa's hearts!

And, if that wasn't good enough, my spawn who lives in SF called me to tell me that 50 or so Santas were crawling around her neighborhood (North Beach), to which she promptly engaged them in a hearty HO HO HO to Seattle!!! w00t!!!!

It was indeed an international, transcontinental thing, beautiful to the eye and ear and very red. And drunk. And fockin awesome. Santa is truly an international (wo)man of mystery.....

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

Boston Santacon 2007! 12/22

Chocolate_Starfish — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 17:13:47 GMT

Boston Santacon 2007
It’s on! This is one seriously disorganized, utterly chaotic, totally last minute red-felt rampage! Get yer megaphone wieldin’, spray-snow taggin’, Pine Sol chuggin’ ass back in that suit!

Saturday, December 22 (confirmed).
Here’s the bullet points:
-> Faneuil Hall starting at 1:00, then
-> Harvard Square via the Million Santa March on Beacon Hill and through the Common (or via the T if weather sucks or Santa’s too wasted), and finally
-> falling down somewhere around Davis Square

Get your details as they come (and come and come) from BostonSanta@gmail.com

Bring the Ho’s!

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

NBC11 slideshow of SF/OAK Santacon

alih — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:36:47 GMT

http://www.nbc11.com/news/14876088/detail.html

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

NC Santa Cons?

David — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 18:01:06 GMT

I just heard about Santa Con a week or so ago. Are there any in the NC area? I live in Greensboro

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

2008 SF Santacon Organizers' Thread

alih — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:18:39 GMT

Since I've seen a few folks talking about wanting to be a part of the organizing team next year, figured I'd start this thread so that folks can note if they want to be involved, so that (when the time comes---generally Sept/Oct) Santa can invite Santa to the "planning" tribe.

posted in Santa Con - 19 replies

More Oakland Photos

Brigit — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 17:00:17 GMT

As promised:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brigitgoddess1/sets/72157603478837917/

Snatch what you want for your own use--just give proper credit---thanks!

ANd btw--I had a BLAST! (this was my first year) Thanks to the organizers for bringing this to Oaktown...yeah--it wasn't the usual and some folks will bitch about that--but I know the Oakland Santas all appreciated getting to parade through OUR turf for a change!

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

Denve SantaCon 2007

Synapse_Village — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:21:52 GMT

Nani & The Gay Lords Present

SantaCon 2007

Saturday December 22nd
2430 Gaylord Denver, CO

Immediately Following The Santa Rampage
8PM 'til all the Santas & Ho-Ho-Hos Pass-Out!

24th Peak Project Band
DJ Ethos
DJ Stiltz
Honkey-Ass Zack
GyPsy
Special Secret Santa Guest Appearance

BYOB
21+
Donations Welcome

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

satan con dec 22nd

Angi — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 01:54:56 GMT

Brought to you by the same folks who organised the santacon this time we praise satan
dress as you desire in your own weird sicko way to celebrate jesus birthday

we will be using busses for most of this event so please donate $20 or what you can afford at the paypal account located at www.drunkenrampage.com
see you at noon at the fountain
bring a feather pillow for the fight at 12:15

--furball

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

No fucking warning = megabitching

Lunatic — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:48:07 GMT

Back in 1996 or something the Bay Area SantaCon went down to the south bay. I don't recall this level of bitching about it, and I think one of the main reasons was because it was ANNOUNCED WELL IN ADVANCE.

This year someone had to play super-secret squirrel and announce that the details weren't going to be available until noon on the day before. Combine that with a major location change and it's no wonder there's so much bitching.

For those in the east bay, the expectation, well in advance, is that SantaCon is going to be in SF, so east bay people know how to prepare. For instance, people likely to join SantaCon are also likely to be already familiar with getting around SF via foot/bus/cab/etc.

If I'd known, a couple weeks ago, that SantaCon was going to be in Oakland, this year, I'd have no problem with it. I just found out now, though, and that's a jolt.

Yeah, the people who made the announcements probably keep the details close to the chest this way specifically to avoid a revolt to a competing SF-only SantaCon or a boycott, but isn't that what's happened anyway?

BTW, are there any easy-to-get-to on foot from Jack London Square titty bars in Oakland? The Santa invasion of the Hustler club last year was a highlight. Plus Santas joining the wedding. And Santas successfully making it all the way up to the Cheesecake Factory at the top of Macy's and back down again. And the same thing at Nordstrom's (the year before we were thrown out before making it to the top). And of course Santas in Hooters, and the red tide moving down Lombard Street!

Shit. Sweet times. Does Oaktown have anything to compare to all this? WTF can Santa do over there to spread his "special" brand of holiday cheer to all the holiday tourists and shoppers like at Fisherman's Wharf, Union Square, and the Westfield shopping center?

Someone please enlighten me, really. Help me feel like I'll get as much a kick out of SantaCon in Oakland as I get out of doing it in SF.

posted in Santa Con - 44 replies

Baltimore and London Santas Connect, Press, etc.

goddesscomedia — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 02:29:56 GMT

Thanks to all the DC and Baltimore Santas who showed up yesterday and weren't scared off by the weather (that didn't actually happen). Baltimore Santarchy article and pics in Baltimore Sun here:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-md.santarchy16dec16,0,954435.story

We were a small but ornary crew and had a blast.

During the event we had a cell phone hook up with the London Santarchy!
Of course they were 5 hours ahead and already drunk, but we got to do a "Baltimore Ho ho ho / hello" from the states and they did a big London Santa Shout back to us.
AND....Our illustrious Deb from the DC Burner Choir got on the London phone as well, as she was in London joining the Brittish Brigade of Santas.

*Any Baltimore Santas with pics to share please email me at goddesscomedia@yahoo.com....I'll post links / photos to the site.

Santas and Burners make me smile.

Love and Laughter,
Goddesscomedia

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Bellingham & Seattle Santa - recap

johay — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:34:55 GMT

Big thank yous to all those who made it out to Bellingham. Going into the event, I thought we'd see less than ten people. You filled my stocking with somewhere between 20-30! Ho! Very fun, I hope all got home okay and really got to enjoy what happens when Santa does no organizing at all. G'head and bitch about stuff, there's no organizer to piss off.

SEATTLE: Well fucking done! I really enjoyed that we went into two new territories/neighborhoods this year. It was so damn fun, we didn't even get a chance for the hangover from Friday night to get a grip. Special thanks to Santa Ivan who went through all the trouble of organizing the Santa Convoy, keeping intoxicated Santas from driving. Brilliant! Somehow this year was more coherent (my memory at least, not my mouth during the event) than last years. Thank you!

now...to see if I have enough energy to whip up a storm in Minneapolis this weekend. urf.

posted in Santa Con - 3 replies

Where are the gay Santas?

emory — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 04:18:57 GMT

I had a blast yesterday at Santarchy, but I'm pretty sure I was the only gay Santa. I was there for 12 hours, I mean this is the Bay area, for christ sake. I love hanging with the breeders, and all, but every Santa was getting action but me. Let's be a little more inclusive. Next year, drag your gay buddies along. My gay friends are lame. Hooking up with a hot gay guy (or straight drunk guy) is easy, but finding some fag who's crazy enough to go to Santacon, that's husband material.

posted in Santa Con - 7 replies

EPIC!

MissTickle — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:25:12 GMT

My first SantaCon, and it was phenomenal! I started at 9am, walking up Mission to BART yelling "Feliz Navidad" to the neighbors, and I didn't drag my ass home until 12 hours later.

Highlights include:
Klezmer carols on the pier
Hannukah chicken!
Secret service elves - Santa/Frosty 08
Ferry full o' santas
"Please eat your elf"
Breaking off with a ragtag band of 7 misfit santas to get back to SF
Labeling hot girls naughty or nice (but mostly naughty) on the Irish bank patio
Santas mobbing the high-end jewelry store
Macy's Rush - the first time, and the second time!
Dancing to 'drum and bass' on the corner of Geary and Powell
Invading the shwanky Redwood Room, mixed tables of suits and santii
Re-grouping with the Oakland peeps in Union Square
Zeitgeist grilled cheese

Thanks Santa!!! It was just what I wanted for Christmas!

Pix on picasa: http://picasaweb.google.com/ADSchmoopie/SantaCon
(PM me if you want a full-sized version of a pic)

posted in Santa Con - 13 replies

who took my hat ; {

kiwiWilma — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 15:24:09 GMT

at the first bar in oaktown..i dont care about the hat but i had a broach on it and i want that back...i am warming up my paddle now to unleash some fury

posted in Santa Con - 3 replies

Naughty Santa >=)

coppertop — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:59:25 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgWMjnkp5ig

just another example of how Santa pwns all.

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

lost and found

paulajean — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 05:38:00 GMT

found: the back of someones RED cell phone. let me know if it's yours

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

Vancouver SantaCon 2007 pics

StripeyMcDangerpantsEsqLLC — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:22:33 GMT

Here's the link. We rocked.
http://vancouver.santacon.ca/photos/main.php?g2_itemId=745

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

SF Bay Area Santas!!! Final announcement!

Princess — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 19:53:38 GMT

ARE YOU READY TO HO!!!

East Bay Santas will meet at Heinhold's First and Last Chance (www.heinoldsfirstandlastchance.com/hi...ml) in Jack London Square at 11 a.m.

SF Santas meeting at Carousel by Pier 39. *LEAVING* at 10am.

It is strongly suggested that you register for www.txtmob.com and join the “santarchy” group: www.txtmob.com/group_info.php.

You DO NOT want to be late! If you can't drag your ass out of bed that early then you can catch up with us via txt mob.

What to bring:

Bring $12 for public transportation! That's right. Santa's a bitch and he's too fucking drunk and fat to walk around. This year, he spreads cheer on his ass with a beer.

As this is a 21+ event, please remember to bring your ID and have it easily accessible to show bar staff.

DO wear comfortable shoes.

If you can't go for long periods of time without a drink then bring backups.

Print yourself a copy of the Santacon Songbook cuz Santa's gonna test out his choir voice!

This year promises to be full of Santa goodness.

Any bitching about the time, Santa will hunt you down and put your titties in a vice and shove his elves up your ass!

At the sound of the whistle WE HO!!

posted in Santa Con - 77 replies

That Santa fucker's bald now...

Grizzly — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:36:21 GMT

In case your head's getting chilly this winter, Santa, while I was crossing the street in Oakland after the first bar stop, I found all your hair in the middle of the intersection, looking very much like geriatric Pekinese roadkill. Hoping it might help you later keep off a chill, I picked it up and carried it along at arm's length, but you never came back through the crowd, clutching your exposed scalp, begging for hair.

If you're the Santa who lost his head (can you prove it? do you look like a Santa?), I've got your hair and can give it back...

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

Updates?

Amy Zing — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 22:15:31 GMT

Whiny San Franciscan here...

When are the Santi coming back to SF? Does anyone know?

(I can't sign up for the textmob thing.)

posted in Santa Con - 10 replies

OAKLAND FUCKING ROCKS

grouchosuave — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 00:52:08 GMT

OAKLAND FUCKING ROCKS!!
period.

"Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

"OAK doesn't have a Virgin Megastore!
It's Starbucks density quotient is only 2.194!
I don't know how to read a map!
I don't know how to speak ebonics!
Will my work cellphone work over there?
My hasty judgement of shit I know nothing about might be challenged;
Should I bring toilet paper into the wilderness?
East Bay is pig latin for Beast!
I don't know how to let things happen!
I thought Anarchy was only a cool edgy t-shirt to wear!
Will I be mugged for my prosciutto and brie?!
My artfully disheveled hair and square glasses will look stupid and contrived!"

Are you ready to RUMBLE you fucking fashion queens??

Doesn't even matter cuz we are!!

Love and kisses,
gsuave

posted in Santa Con - 26 replies

Lexington, KY SantaCon Pictures!

Rachel — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 17:30:40 GMT

I know you have them, now show 'em off!!

Thanks to all of you that came down for this Fun Fest with Santa!!! I had such a blast! Everyone was great!

A special thanks to Krystal for wrangling out-of-towners and Reindeer Gamers. And for printing of the caroling books. You rock! Hope your ride home was a safe one. hugs.
And another special thanks to the Out-of-towners for adding to the night!! You rock!
And Lexington Santas have what it takes! Through the rain and cold, nothing held back the Red Tide!!

This Santa is feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. I can't wait for NEXT year!
HO!
Santess Red

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

SJC Santa Con December 22nd

JJ — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 17:42:07 GMT

If any of you jonesing Santas want to to don your costume yet one more time, then head down to San Jose next weekend where a small, but hardy and rowdy crew of Santas will get their canes waxed and polished and other assorted fun times are to be had. We're starting off at the Pink Poodle then working our way downtown..there's a huge christmas display in the heart of downtown and that's where the people will be....you know, those people that love us...more info to be posted this week, or message me, the original Kinky Kris Kringle!

posted in Santa Con - 0 replies

Revolting

angelicfiend — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:44:49 GMT

i dont really want to go to Oakland to have santacon...

i have been in SF for well over 30 years...this is my first santacon and i dont want to go to Oakland....

Does anyone have an old route plan from another year.....?????

posted in Santa Con - 41 replies

DON'T SPLINTER!!!!! The real route... a hypothesis based on data for SF OAK peeps.... boat to Oak, Bart to SF

UncleFishbits — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:37:32 GMT

This is not my theory. This is the theory of my sexy as hell girlfriend who is from Oakland, a lover of it, and in a rage at all the idiocy.

I even had to come to terms with my media induced phobia of Oakland that borders on racism.... I think the community and cops might not be as hip as in SF. So I obviously have some personal issues about my ignorance towards Oakland, and will be happily schooled in how accepting and loving both the cops and the community is of our weirdness. I am happy to be taught a lesson in making assumptions of what I have experienced as a great town, but deriving opinions from my nightly local news fearmongering.

SO... this special lady friend suggest this....

look at the money we are bringing. Something like $7.50 for the boat, and something like $3.60 for bart. MATH TIME!

THAT'S $11.10 in cash money. .90 short of the $12 we are bringing.

I have no correlation with the planners, but sure as shit it will end up in SF, so all the people like me making judgements or assumptions about Oakland... lighten up, go for a boat ride, push your boundaries, learn about a new city and come back to crash this city hard.

We were talking about it rationally, and after a couple bars in Oakland... we will take BART back to end it in SF as that is where we are mostly coming from.

I didn't want to go to Oakland. That is because I am an uptight bitch.

Loosen up, come for the ride that you agreed to get on without knowing where you were going, and let's have fun.

To sum up for myself and other SF lovers...

you can sure as hell bet this will end up in the city after a couple hours.

Boats to Oak to Bart to SF.

Let's do it like a team!

Don't splinter SF santas... don't splinter!

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

Text Mob Troubleshooting...sorta

Rebren — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:46:52 GMT

For those having no luck getting a response from the text mob sign up, do any of you have AT&T Wireless as your carrier? When I first signed up, that's who I chose as my carrier (which it *is* now, dammit) and it didn't work. I just now signed up under Cingular (which my carrier was called before the buy-out or merger or whatever) and it worked for me. Don't know if that's the issue for those not getting messages, but it's worth a try. Worked for me.

posted in Santa Con - 3 replies

Next year's was better

Penguin, Emperor variety — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 21:16:36 GMT

Look at this pitiful display. Name calling, whining, moaning, confusion, back stabbing, splintered groups, revolutions. If I wanted this I'd go home for Christmas.

(actually, It's the best entertainment I've had in a while. Thank you Santa)

The naughty list is THE place to be!

See you tomorrow?

posted in Santa Con - 5 replies

Those of us that don't want to go to Oakland

NetDiva — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 21:25:35 GMT

The revolt will start from 16th Street BART at 11am.

You can get the info on where we'll be on txtmob:

https://www.txtmob.com/group_info.php?listID=2095&

Join the group named SFSantaConRevolt

posted in Santa Con - 15 replies

fuck PowerPoint

rich — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:08:52 GMT

For those of you that don't have MS PowerPoint and want to be able to print
out the songs that are here:
http://sanfranciscosantarchy.wordpress.com/2007/11/21/a-songbook-for-santa/

Or if you just don't want to have to carry around so many damn pages...

Here are the songs as plain text. I take no responsibility for omissions or
errors, and I can tell at the least that the end is cut off. This was
partially automated by running strings on the ppt file (that got a bit more
than half of the text), then hand reformatting, and cut 'n paste from the Open
Office translation from the rest. Feel free to fill in any gaps or make any
corrections.

----------------------------------------
Transformus SantaCon Songbook 2007
Brought To You
By: Santess Red

----------------------------------------
p. 1

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (nice)

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna find out
who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town!

He sees you when you're sleeping,
He knows when you're awake.
He knows when you've been bad or good,

So be good for goodness sake!

So...You better watch out,
You better not cry
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

Little tin horns,
Little toy drums.
Rudy-toot-toot
and rummy tum tums.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

----------------------------------------
p. 2

SANTA IS INVADING YOUR TOWN
tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

You better watch out, get out if you can.
A red suited menace is sweeping the land.
'Cuz Santa is invading your town .

He sees you when you're naked
And when you're smoking pot
And when you're masturbating
Ev'n when you cop a squat, so:

You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I'm telling you why
Santa is invading your town

Get out o’ the way of fake black boots.
We're flooding the city with cheap red suits!
Santa is invading your town.

We know what you've been up to.
You've made the naughty list.
So cut us in for our fair share.
You don't want these Santas' Pissed.

OOOHHHH, get out of the way,
Of our red suited wave.
Is this anyway for St. Nick to behave.
When Santa HAS INVADED YOUR TOWN!!

----------------------------------------
p. 3

Winter Wonderland (nice)

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight.
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
As we go along,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you're in town.

Later on, we'll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
Until the other kiddies knock him down.

When it snows, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Walking in a winter wonderland,
Walking in a winter wonderland.

----------------------------------------
p. 4

Women’s Underwear (naughty)
(to be sung to Winter Wonderland)

Lacy things – the wife is missin’
Didn’t ask – her permission,
I’m wearin’ her clothes
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear

In the store – there’s a teddy,
Little straps – like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear.

In the office there’s a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I’m am Murphy Brown.
He’ll say, “Are you ready?” I’ll say, “Whoa, Man!”
“Let’s wait until our wife's are out of town!”

Later on, if you wanna
We can dress – Like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade,
Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear!

Lacy things…missin’,
Didn’t ask…permission,
Wearin’ her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear,

Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear,
Walkin’ ‘round in women’s underwear!

----------------------------------------
p. 5

Winter Wonderland (naughty)

Dish out the lines, I am listening
Chug the booze, snow is glistening
It’s cold, That’s all right
We’ll get some tonight
Screwing in a winter wonderland

At the camp we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He’ll say: Are you married
We’ll say: No man!
But we’ll just fornicate and fool around

Later on, we’ll perspire
As we fuck, by the fire
And face unafraid
The mess that we’ve made
Screwing in a Winter Wonderland

----------------------------------------
p. 6

JUST ANOTHER SANTA RAMPAGE
tune of "Winter Wonderland"

Drunkin' Santa's, will be reelin'.
No pain will they be feelin'!
Red suits will be stained,
From the booze that they've drained.
Just another Santa Rampage!!

You can tell, they've been drinkin'.
Pretty soon, they'll be stinkin'.
Drunk as a mule, with a beard full of drool.
Just another Santa Rampage!!

Have you ever seen this many Santa's?
Stumblin' and a lookin' like a fool?
Don't you wish that you could be a Santa? Smokin' and a drinkin', being cool?

Why we're out here is just because!
We are rebels, with a Claus.
So grab a suit and a beard.
Come on and get weird.
Join us on a Santa Rampage!!!

----------------------------------------
p. 7

Let It Snow (nice)

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
And I've bought some corn for popping,
The lights are turned way down low,

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!
When we finally kiss goodnight,
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we're still good-bying,
But as long as you love me so,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

---

Let It Snow (naughty)

Well the traffic outside is frightful
But the drugs are so delightful
And since we’ve got lines to blow
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

George W. scored us an eightball
And we’re feelin’ 50 feet tall
Still higher we wanna go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

When we finally lick the mirror
We can really start chuggin’ the beer
And when we tap out the keg
We will start gnawing your leg

Yes the traffic outside is frightful
But the drugs are so delightful
And since we’ve got lines to blow

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

----------------------------------------
p. 8

LET IT FLOW

The weather outside is frightful,
But the beer inside's delightful.
And since we've no place to go,
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.

Oh we show no signs of stopping.
And now we're really hopping.
And the lights are turned way down low.
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.

When we finally drink it dry.
How we hate going back to the store.
Maybe we'll just get high,
And all fall asleep on the floor.

Oh the party is slowly dying.
And our friends have all stopped buying.
Now my bladder really wants to know.
Where to go, where to go, where to go?

----------------------------------------
p. 9

Frosty the Snowman (nice)

Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose,
And two eyes made out of coal.

Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of snow
but the children know
how he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in that
Old silk hat they found.
For when they placed it on his head,
He began to dance around.

O, Frosty the snowman
Was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh
And play just the same as you and me.

Frosty the snowman knew
The sun was hot that day,
So he said, "Let's run and we'll have some fun
now before I melt away."

Down to the village,
With a broomstick in his hand,
Running here and there all
Around the square saying,
Catch me if you can.

He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler "Stop!"

For Frosty the snowman
Had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,
"Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."

----------------------------------------
p. 10

Frosty the Cokehead (naughty)

Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,
With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,
And no sense of self control.

Frosty the Cokehead is an urban tale, they say,
He is fond of snow
but the dealers know
That he came back for more each day.

There must have been some poison
in that last dime bag he got
For when he took his first big hit
he dropped dead on the spot.

O, Frosty the Cokehead
Wanted to be as high as he could be,
And the dealers say
He would pay and pay
After he ripped off you and me.

Frosty the Cokehead doesn’t worry anymore,
Cuz when all is said,
and you’re cold and dead
Then you never have to score

----------------------------------------
p. 11

Deck the Halls (nice)

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Refrain:
Don we now our gay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Strike the harp and join the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

(Refrain)

Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

(Refrain)

Fast away the old year passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

(Refrain)

Sing we joyous, all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

----------------------------------------
p. 12

Deck my Balls (naughty)

Deck my balls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tap the keg, inflate the dolly
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Refrain:
Don we know our rubber panties,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
We’re a bunch of twisted Santies
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Naughty girls are such a treasure
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
These North Poles were made for pleasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

(Refrain)

Fucked the elves, fucked all the reindeer,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fuck the cookies, bring us COLD BEER!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

----------------------------------------
p. 13

We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Nice)

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Refrain:
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer

Refrain

We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some, so bring some out here:

Refrain

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

----------------------------------------
p. 14

We Wish you a Merry Christmas (Naughty)

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas now bring us some beer!

Refrain:
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas
and we really do want some beer.

Oh, bring us a frothy cold one;
Oh, bring us a frothy cold one;
Oh, bring us a frothy cold one;
and some shots of good cheer

Refrain

We won’t go until we get some,
We won’t go until we get some,
We won’t go until we get some,
So bring some right here!

(Repeat, repeat and repeat
as often as necessary and
with staunch determination
until desired result is achieved!)

----------------------------------------
p. 15

The Christmas Song (nice)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you!

----------------------------------------
p. 16

The Christmas Song (Naughty)

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost ripping up your nose.
Yuletide carolers being thrown in the fire,
And folks dressed up like buffaloes.

Everybody knows a turkey slaughtered in the snow
Helps to make the season right.
Tiny tots with their eyes all gouged out,
Will find it hard to see tonight.

They know that Santa’s on his way
He’s loaded lots of guns and bullets on his sleigh
And every mother’s child is sure to spy
To see if reindeer really scream when they die.

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although its been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas…
Merry Christmas…
Merry Christmas…
Fuck You!

----------------------------------------
p. 17

O Come All Ye Perverts

O come all ye perverts
Come and have an orgy
O come ye, o cum ye
In brothels galore

Come and get plastered
And let's find some ho-girls
O come let us enjoy them
O come let us enjoy them
O come let us enjoy them
In brothels galore

----------------------------------------
p. 18

Twelve Days of Christmas (nice)

On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me:
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day… Two turtle doves
On the third day…Three French hens
On the fourth day…Four calling birds
On the fifth day…Five golden rings
On the sixth day…Six geese a-laying
On the seventh day…Seven swans a-swimming
On the eighth day…Eight maids a-milking
On the ninth day…Nine ladies dancing
On the tenth day…Ten lords a-leaping
On the eleventh day…Eleven pipers piping
On the twelfth day...Twelve drummers drumming

---

Twelve Drugs of Christmas (Naughty)

On the first day home for Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A tab of yellow sunshine LSD

On the second day… 2 hits of E
On the third day…3 bags of grass
On the fourth day…4 grams of hash
On the fifth day…5 Valiums
On the sixth day…6 joints a smoking
On the seventh day…7 whites a-buzzing
On the eighth day…8 spoons a-snorting
On the ninth day…9 caps a-dropping
On the tenth day…10 peyote buttons
On the eleventh day…11 magic mushrooms
On the twelfth day...12 pints a-dripping

----------------------------------------
p. 19

Silent Night (nice)

Silent night, holy night,
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.

(2nd half of p. 19 missing)

----------------------------------------
p. 20

Hark Satanic Santas (Naughty)

Hark Satanic Santas sing
Sing about the naughty things
Piece of ass, wicked and wild
Come and touch me evil child

Joyful all ye demons rise
Terrorize the Christian skies
With blasphemous hosts proclaim
Glory to the Devil's reign

Hark Satanic Santas sing
Glory to the Devil's reign

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing (nice)

Hark! the herald angels sing
Glory to the new-born King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinners reconciled!

Joyful, all ye nations, rise,
Join the triumph of the skies;
With th' angelic host proclaim
Christ is born in Bethlehem!

Hark! the herald angels sing
Glory to the new-born King!

----------------------------------------
p. 21

JINGLE BELLS, LET'S RAISE HELL

Jingle Bells, Let's raise hell.
Santa sluts unite!
Bondage gear and lots of beer,
Are all we need tonight.

Jingle bells, let's raise hell!
We're horny and naughty!
So cum and sit on Santa's lap,
And get your gift for free!

Dashing through the streets,
With one thing on our mind.
We'll tie you up with tinsel and
Spank your sweet behind! ho ho ho...

Cat O'nine-tails sing,
While slicing through the air.
Drop your pants or raise your skirt,
And lose that underwear!!
(repeat chorus)

----------------------------------------
p. 22

These are a Few of My Favorite Things (Naughty)
(from the Sound of Music)

Halogen uplights and big-muscled fellas
Pink puffy draperies and drinks with umbrellas
Brown Puerto Rican boys tied up with string
These are a few of my favorite things!

Penthouse magazine and silicone breasts
Girls dressed in leather with tattoos on their chests
Blonde lesbo orgies, a quick mid-day fling,
These are a few of my favorite things!

When the whip cracks (oww!)
When the cane stings (ooo!)
When I’m feeling bad
I simply remember a few of my favorite things
And then I get hard…..for Dad

----------------------------------------
p. 23

Nuttin' For Christmas (original)

I broke my bat on Johnny's head;
Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed;
Somebody snitched on me.

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;
I made Tommy eat a bug;
Bought some gum with a penny slug;
Somebody snitched on me.

REFRAIN:
Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and Daddy are mad.
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair
Somebody snitched on me.
I tied a knot in Susie's hair
Somebody snitched on me.

I did a dance on Mommy's plants
Climbed a tree and tore my pants
Filled the sugar bowl with ants
Somebody snitched on me.

(REFRAIN)

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;
Somebody snitched on me.
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me.

Next year I'll be going straight;
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's too late;
Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas.

----------------------------------------
p. 24

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (original)

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep.
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus

Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

----------------------------------------
p. 25

The Night Before Christmas (Naughty)
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone and my wife was in heat
The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook
Momma in her teddy and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry
That I lost my boner and momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf
Tore back the shade while she played with herself
The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of the sled,
A sock in his ear and a bra on his head.
Sure as I’m speaking he was high as a kite
And he yelled to his team, but it didn’t sound right.
Whoa Shithead, Whoa asshole, Whoa Stupid and Putz
Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post and don’t hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jockies, to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

catching up in Oaktown

angelicfiend — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:21:16 GMT

ok, i am turning my coat back to maybe joining in oakland.....

since i have NO OAKLAND experience...how can one catch up with the red tide????? i maybe wanting to join post start............

also, in SF i can get my ass home from anywhere....how am i going to manage my drunk ass to get home if i get too wasted prior to the end.....without a $30.00 cab ride? It sounds like there will be multibuses ($12.00 transpo fees).

sorry if these are dumb questions, but this is my first santacon. and santa does like to be a dummy, especially when drunk!!!!

posted in Santa Con - 31 replies

O.k. Santa's When you are all tired and ready for something different....here it is...

robinhood — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 07:08:00 GMT

I thought I would give this one a try...being that I do make these in Oakerblahland...and I am going to be a fucked up Santa on this one, perhaps you could all join me in that one....

Support the beautiful fire pits of Ocean Beach!

Hello Friends, Family and Those who just love a good fire on a sandy
beach watching the waves caress the sand!

Join us for an evening of fun at the lovely Hunterspoint art space the
BOXSHOP located at 10 Hunterspoint blvd SF CA 94110

Saturday Dec 15th 7:00 pm - 1:00am

Sliding scale $5 - $500

100% of the proceeds will go to producing Fire pits for Ocean Beach!

Come support the artists and your community and help make two more
fire pits come to life!

There will be unique handmade gifts for purchase, an assortment of
food and drink, and an opportunity to meet the artists that made the
Starfish and Fire Bloom fire pits.

More SeaStars! More Fire Blooms! More FIRE on the BEACH!

This event will be sponsored by: Burners without Borders , the Surf
Riders Assoc. BRAF and others...

Music, Food, Fire and Fun

Come sit by the fire all night in front of two new fire pits one
SeaStar and one Fire Bloom that will soon be placed on Ocean Beach.

Save the Fire on California Beach's! Support this Project!

.
.
....or stand in the dark on a cold beach for the rest of your life.

website:
fireblooms.com/about/fundraiser

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Any last minute cheap santa suit possibilty?

robinhood — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:42:54 GMT

I do not need anything fancy...just something for a very tall santa?

posted in Santa Con - 10 replies

SF Bay Area Santacon Announcement!

Princess — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:46:50 GMT

Santa contingents---from both SF and the East Bay---will be meeting at their respective departure points at approximately 10am Saturday 12/15. (exact times and locations will be announced on date below)

Santa's got something up his sleeve this year with plans to deflower virgin territory.

For specifics, please check on this tribe after 12noon on FRIDAY 12/14.
Also PLEASE bookmark http://www.sanfranciscosantarchy.wordpress.com
(in case Tribe has an unexpected outage)

It is strongly suggested that you register for http://www.txtmob.com/ and join the "santarchy" group: http://www.txtmob.com/group_info.php

You will not want to be late!
For those who will need to join us later, you may be able to catch up with Santa via txt mob or we encourage you to have a santa buddy who can fill you in on our whereabouts.

HO!

posted in Santa Con - 112 replies

wheres the fucking songs hos?

SunDancer — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 22:50:22 GMT

arf.......b

there at 10.

good luck.

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Important Santi-formation, for ALL Santii!!!

Giggles — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 09:16:30 GMT

1: Observe the four F*cks:

-Don't fuck with KIDS
(they get F-ed up enough!)
-Don't fuck with THE LAW
(at least not while you are dressed like ME!)
-Don't fuck with SECURITY
(they call the cops, see above)
DON'T FUCK WITH SANTA
(no brainer)

2: Don't forget to EAT!! There should be ample opourtunity to catch a bit along the
route! Or just bring a PB&J for ellves sake!

3: Santa is FUN.
Have FUN......don't be mean or stupid like jumping on cars, or throwing things off
balconies, kicking old people, stealing kids' candy, etc.

Santa can still have an AWESOME time without being a fucktard.
A Fucktard is a BAD Santa!!

See ya there!!! *<| ; )

posted in Santa Con - 7 replies

Santa Cellphone Hookup!

mzzzspanky — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:35:43 GMT

From the Santarchy website, here are the Santas that will be out this weekend! Call a Santa, Love a Santa! PM me if you don't want to post your digits.... HO!!!

Friday - 12/14:
ARLINGTON, TX - Santa SpanksAlot - 817.5 two 1. 7 zero 31, 8pm CST
BIRMINGHAM, AL
TACOMA, WA

Saturday - 12/15:
ATLANTA, GA
BALTIMORE, MD
BANGKOK, THAILAND
CALGARY, AB
DETROIT, MI
DALLAS, TX - Santa SpanksAlot - 817.5 two 1. 7 zero 31, 8:30pm CST
HELSINKI, FINLAND
INDIANAPOLIS, IN
LONDON, ENGLAND
NASHVILLE, TN
NEW ORLEANS, LA
OTTAWA, ON
ST. LOUIS, MO
SALT LAKE CITY, UT
SAN DIEGO, CA
SAN FRANCISCO, CA
SEATTLE, WA
TORONTO, ON
VANCOUVER, BC
WILMINGTON, NC

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Portland.... they just kept coming.

Jelly — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 17:36:12 GMT

Aprox 800 Santas this year.
It was beautiful.

posted in Santa Con - 29 replies

ohhhhh, the horror......

toomanyTomcats — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 05:49:45 GMT

http://sf.funcheap.com/2007/12/12/santarchy-2007-scores-of-drunk-santas-rampage-the-streets-of-sf-oakland/

posted in Santa Con - 7 replies

Seattle Adopt-A-Ho

Giggles — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:43:35 GMT

I have had a few requests for some place to crash here in Settle
after the Red Tide finishes washing over Seattle....anyone wanna
host a Ho??

-Jingles the F-in' ELF

Off-list me Yo! And we can get you hooked up!

posted in Santa Con - 14 replies

A Seattle Santa in SF, oh my!

Trey — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 01:51:48 GMT

I did PDX Santa last weekend and am in SF right now for the SF Santa. I have a friend coming into town from San Diego tomorrow for the SF Santa as well. We are looking to get a hotel or find a place to crash for Friday and/or Saturday nights. Anybody have any suggestions on where to stay or that offer up some floor space for 2? I'm on a budget and don't really know the city, so not too sure of where to stay. Preferably some place that I can access via public transit.

posted in Santa Con - 4 replies

calling all santas urgent santa info

drunkennurse — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 20:13:47 GMT

so this saturday like many of you others, SF atlanta, Baltimore, Bangcock Dallas to name a few sees london Santa con taking place,

we are estimating possibly 850-1000 santas descending from across europe for Santarchy.

So seeing as were a lil cosmo and worldy in this city we wanna link in with you guys.

We will be starting at 10.30 GMT, were fucking hardcore you see, a lack of open container laws and a lrge irish cointingent means that we do in fact "like to party"

what we wanna do is hopefully call you guys at various stages to touch base and send some euro trash santa Love to you guys,

Kinda ljke santa dallas, santa dallas, this is london Calling do you read over,

dsowe can some festive fuck yous from big ben to our american santafilliates.

any one interested in making this happen,

i will need you to contact me via message with a Contact telpehone number, it helps if you keep your phone on and are inclined to answer it.

We will be rallying our santa troops at 1.30 ( gmt)in trafalga square, i preusme most oif you guys have a central meeting poiunt thing arranged perhaps giving me the time (local time) when you will be assembled so we can figure out what time is best to call you.

As the day progresses many santas will fall by the wayside, such is the nature of the beast, so we when we are 6 hours ahead hemmoraging drunken santas can call our baltimore santas and pass the torch as you start.

anybody interested in making this happen, Preferably someone who is able to get a megaphone when needed and is not averse to standing up and telling 400 stantas to shut the fuck up so you can take the call.

Last year i had some very good santa on santa actionwhen calling from india.

this year we wanna go bigger.

so if you are interested in being a santa apoint of contact hit me up with

Your city/santa representation

your smellular info, including area code,

a good time window to call you, ie when you are assembled en mass

and whatever else bullshit you feel is necessary.

please lets do this Santa london has a lot of love to sahre and who else to sahre it with,

and especially since you will all be missing the best santa con of them all we wanna give you a lil euro trash love.

Santa Nurse,

there is alot more fun to be had when your police are only armed with sticks

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply

Seattle

Symsinia — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:27:35 GMT

Info? Has it been posted and I missed it? Hoping there may be a map such as Portland had. That was super handy for late santi!!

posted in Santa Con - 2 replies

Lexington, KY SantaCon!!

Rachel — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 20:27:30 GMT

The First Annual Lexington, KY SantaCon will hereby take place on Dec. 15th!!

HO!
-r

(more details to follow as soon as the damn elves get their asses in gear)

posted in Santa Con - 6 replies

Baltimore Santarchy UPDATED info!!! Dec 15

goddesscomedia — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:06:53 GMT

Baltimore Santarchy website / event updated!

Dec 15
2:00 pm - 2:30 - meeting spot is at the Baltimore Visitor Center at the inner harbor
401 Light Street Baltimore, MD 21202

Easily accessible via taxi, bus, Marc train
Lots of parking in the downtown area (paid, of course)
http://baltimore.about.com/od/transportation/a/parkinggarages.htm

Santarchy Website:
http://www.geocities.com/santarchybmore/home

There are two song books
1. Nice - downloadable PDF from the website
2. Naughty - downloadable PDF from the website
(Unfortunately had to cut down on pics due to file size...grrrr)

Both versions are also accessible via the DC Cacophony yahoo group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DC-Area-Cacophony/

Don't forget - we'll get to check out the TUBA CHRISTMAS performance too!
http://www.tubachristmas.com/

posted in Santa Con - 1 reply